爱情与浪漫

Are you a hopeless romantic? Do you get excited by the idea of falling in love with the man or woman of your dreams? Does watching a romcom or a period drama on TV make you cry? Or are you someone who thinks romance is based on an idealised view of reality that doesn’t really exist? Well, you could be right!

你是无可救药的浪漫派吗？想到与梦中情人坠入爱河你会兴奋吗？你会因为电视里的爱情喜剧和古装剧情节而多愁善感吗？又或者你认为爱情只是基于现实的理想化，其实根本不存在？好吧，或许你是对的。

I’m no romantic and more of a realist – taking a more practical approach to love - maybe that’s why I never had many girlfriends! But if you really are expecting the kind of love that makes your heart flutter with happiness you may be dissapointed.

我是理性多于感性的人——更看重物质。或许这就是为什么我没有很多女朋友！如果你期待电视里演的那些让人跌宕起伏轰轰烈烈的爱情发生在自己身上，你可能会失望。

Our expectation of what romance is, probably originated from the Romantic period - an artistic, literary, musical and intellectual movement that originated in Europe in the 18th Century. The notion of falling in love, getting married and living happily ever after were culturally held ideas formed during this period and still exist today.

我们对爱情的期望，或许来源于十八世纪浪漫主义时期——孕育出欧洲灿烂文化，艺术，音乐，思想的摇篮时代。这个时期流行的爱情是：坠入爱河，结婚，然后幸福快乐的生活。并且现在这种观念依然存在。

Of course there’s nothing wrong with liking the idea of romance; it makes us feel good – but we must be careful not to use it as a benchmark for our own relationships. This idealised version of love leaves out the nitty- gritty of real-life relationships. There’s usually work, finances and other stresses of everyday life to deal with. You can’t expect romantic gestureslike a bunch of red roses every day – there are bills to pay!

当然那样说也没有错。至少会让我们好受一些——但是我们得注意不能按这种理想的标准来衡量我们现实生活中的感情。毕竟我们需要不断的工作来减轻每日的经济和生活压力。你最好不要期待，每天都有一束新鲜的玫瑰花送给你之类的浪漫之举——毕竟它们也是要付钱的！

Many popular love stories end at the point where the characters get together or tie the knot. That puts the focus on finding someone special. But very few show us how to keep that perfect catch over a long period of time. A relationship is hard work. It’s frustrating, messy and can be emotionally damaging.

一些有名的爱情故事，总是在主人公在一起或是结婚之后就戛然而止。他们更关注的是如何找到对的那个人。但是只有很少一些会让我们看到爱情如何保鲜。经营一段关系其实很难，它们脆弱且不堪一击，或许会让你沮丧，混乱，甚至遭遇情感危机。

If you’re still convinced romance isn’t dead, how will you ever find it? Historian and TV presenter Lucy Worsley thinks nowadays, any idea of romance is dying because it has become "too easy" to meet new people via dating apps. She told the BBC the "slow exquisite torture of love in Jane Austen novels no longer existed in the age of Grindr and Tinder [apps]."

如果你仍然坚信浪漫不死，那你会怎么找到它呢？历史学家兼主持人路西认为现在浪漫不复，因为现在有太多约会软件了，所以人们可以很轻易的去认识新的人。她告诉BBC的记者，像简奥斯丁的小说里那样让人抓心挠肝儿的爱情是不可能出现在Grindr和tinder（交友软件）上的。

Perhaps romance is best left to the movies – a fantasy that makes us feel good – and instead concentrate on finding a good and healthy relationship with its ups and downs but one that is full of love. Do you believe romance really exists?

可能浪漫只存在于电影里——自欺欺人的幻想——历经千辛万苦，去找到那个对的人，然后过上幸福快乐的生活.你认为浪漫真的存在吗？