爱情魔力背后隐藏的秘密

So, right now, Lucy Brown and I, the neuroscientist on our project, are looking at the data of the people who were put into the machine after they had just been dumped. It was very difficult actually, putting these people in the machine, because they were in such bad shape. (Laughter) So anyway, we found activity in three brain regions. We found activity in the brain region, in exactly the same brain region associated with intense romantic love. What a bad deal. You know, when you've been dumped, the one thing you love to do is just forget about this human being, and then go on with your life, but no, you just love them harder. As the poet Terence, the Roman poet once said, he said, "The less my hope, the hotter my love." And indeed, we now know why. 2,000 years later, we can explain this in the brain. That brain system, the reward system for wanting, for motivation, for craving, for focus, becomes more active when you can't get what you want. In this case, life's greatest prize: an appropriate mating partner.

我和项目组中的神经系统学家露西.布朗 当下正在研究被抛弃的人们的核磁共振测试数据。但说服他们进行测验实在是困难，因为他们心情实在是太糟了。(笑）总之，我们在大脑中发现了三个与之有关的区域。 我们在那块大脑区域， 也就是腹侧背盖区， 找到了与热恋相关的大脑活动。 这是多么坏的事情啊！ 当你被甩之后， 你会想着要忘掉他，并继续你的正常生活， 但事与愿违，你只会更爱他了。 就像罗马诗人特伦斯曾说过的： "我的祈求越少，我的爱情便越炽烈。" 时至今日，我们知道这是为什么了。 2000年后的今天，我们能够解释大脑中的这一过程。 大脑中的奖赏系统与欲望、动机、渴望和专注有关，它在你不能得到你所要的时，反而变得更加活跃。 倘若如此，生命中最大的奖赏即是：一个适当的约会对象。

We found activity in other brain regions also -- in a brain region associated with calculating gains and losses. You know, you're lying there, you're looking at the picture, and you're in this machine, and you're calculating, you know, what went wrong. How, you know, what have I lost? As a matter of fact, Lucy and I have a little joke about this. It comes from a David Mamet play, and there's two con artists in the play, and the woman is conning the man, and the man looks at the woman and says, "Oh, you're a bad pony, I'm not going to bet on you." And indeed, it's this part of the brain, the core of the nucleus accumbens, that is becoming active as you're measuring your gains and losses. It's also the brain region that becomes active when you're willing to take enormous risks for huge gains and huge losses.

我们发现大脑中计算得失的区域也与爱情有关。 测试者躺在核磁共振仪中， 看着昔日爱人的照片， 然后开始回想到底是什么出错了。 我失去了什么？事实上，露西和我对此开过一些玩笑。 在大卫.梅米特的一部剧中， 有两个行骗高手， 其中女士在勾引男士， 于是他看着那位女士说： "你真调皮，我是不会犯错的。" 当你在计算得失时，大脑中的这部分--伏隔核的核心变得活跃起来。 当你要因为得到或失去 而去冒巨大的风险时，它也会变得活跃。

Last but not least, we found activity in a brain region associated with deep attachment to another individual. No wonder people suffer around the world and we have so many crimes of passion. When you've been rejected in love, not only are you engulfed with feelings of romantic love, but you're feeling deep attachment to this individual. Moreover, this brain circuit for reward is working, and you're feeling intense energy, intense focus, intense motivation and the willingness to risk it all to win life's greatest prize.

最后，我们还在一块区域中发现了与深度依恋有关的大脑活动。 难怪世界各地的人们都遭受着痛苦， 难怪我们中这么多人被负心的情人伤害 当你被爱抛弃时，你不仅被对爱情的渴望吞没，而且感到对他深深的依恋。 此外，大脑的奖赏回路开始工作， 这使得你感到强烈的精力，强烈的专注，强烈的干劲，和想要不顾一切地 赢得生命中最高奖赏的愿望。

So, what have I learned from this experiment that I would like to tell the world? Foremost, I have come to think that romantic love is a drive, a basic mating drive. Not the sex drive -- the sex drive gets you out there looking for a whole range of partners. Romantic love enables you to focus your mating energy on just one at a time, conserve your mating energy, and start the mating process with this single individual. I think of all the poetry that I've read about romantic love, what sums it up best is something that is said by Plato over 2,000 years ago. He said, "The god of love lives in a state of need. It is a need. It is an urge. It is a homeostatic imbalance. Like hunger and thirst, it's almost impossible to stamp out." I've also come to believe that romantic love is an addiction: a perfectly wonderful addiction when it's going well, and a perfectly horrible addiction when it's going poorly.

那么，关于这次实验，我又有什么样的体会要分享给全世界呢？ 最重要的一点，我的结论是爱情是人类最基本的寻求配对的冲动。 这不是性冲动--性冲动让你寻找 能够成为性伴侣的人。 而爱情让你同时只对一个人产生配对的冲动， 并节制地使用它， 开始同他恋爱。我脑海中浮现出读过的所有关于爱情的诗篇， 其中最适合概括这一点的是 2000多年前的诗人柏拉图的一首诗，"爱神栖于爱欲之国。 爱是欲求，是冲动， 是恒久的失衡。 如饥似渴，不能熄灭。" 我同样也相信爱情让人成瘾： 爱若甜蜜，人们沉溺其中； 爱若苦涩，人们深陷其中，难以自拔。

And indeed, it has all of the characteristics of addiction. You focus on the person, you obsessively think about them, you crave them, you distort reality, your willingness to take enormous risks to win this person. And it's got the three main characteristics of addiction. Tolerance --you need to see them more, and more, and more -- withdrawals, and last, relapse. I've got a girlfriend who's just getting over a terrible love affair, it's been about eight months, she's beginning to feel better. And she was driving along in her car the other day, and suddenly she heard a song on the car radio that reminded her of this man. And she -- not only did the instant craving come back, but she had to pull over from the side of the road and cry. So, one thing I would like the medical community, and the legal community, and even the college community, to see if they can understand, that indeed, romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on Earth.

确然，爱情拥有成瘾的所有特征，你专注于他，执念于他，渴望得到他，并扭曲现实，愿不顾一切以赢得他的爱。成瘾的三个主要特征也在爱情上得以体现： 首先是耐受性--你总是想要得到更多以维持最初的感觉， 而后耐受性消退，最后又复发。 我的一位女朋友刚从一段痛苦的恋情中恢复过来， 经过了八个月，她终于好多了。 这之后的一天，她正开着车， 收音机里的一首歌 让她又想起了那个男人。 于是，瞬时的渴望充满全身， 她控制不住情绪，把车停在路边， 大哭了一场。 因此，我希望医学界、法学界和高教界都关注到上述这一点：爱情确实是世界上最让人成瘾的东西。