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父母何时停止给孩子的经济支持?

2011-02-20来源:CRI

假若你为人父母,尝试考虑以下问题:你认为应该多久给孩子一次零花钱?当你的孩子被大学录取了,你会为他支付学费吗?什么时候给孩子经济“断奶”最合适?中国的孩子比西方孩子独立性差,尤其表现在经济方面。是文化环境的影响还是社会发展的缺失?

Kids aren't cheap and parents are obliged to financially support their kids - nothing new there. They need clothes and need education and a roof over their heads. But how long should parents keep giving money? There is no one answer. All over the world, how long kids receive money is not particularly based on how much the family actually has but what is expected culturally.

Why? For starters, there are economic and social factors. In China, a son or daughter's education is a crucial investment for Chinese parents. Becky Sun from Zhejiang explains that since most parents don't want kids distracted during their studies, they will pay for the university and all expenses until after graduation.

"For the money, you know in China, there was a tradition when the child doesn't have work, maybe the parents will give money to the children, but when the parents get old, all children will give money to the parents. So, we don't have the idea to depart or to separate money from the family or for ourselves."

For a lot of Chinese families, kids are supported while they study so they can later get good jobs and later support their parents. The lesson on how to earn may come at a later age than in other cultures, but it comes with a big responsibility.
In Sun's case, she wasn't financially independent until the age of twenty-four.

In Slovakia, Veronika Kopacikova learned in a very different manner. From the time she was in high school, she was cleaning her parents' office and buying her own personal items. Her parents aimed to make her financially responsible by teaching her about working in order to buy things herself, she says.

"I think my parents took it from their business world perspective because when they got married they were very poor, then they started their companies and it went well for them. So they thought, OK, you should do the same. So, they sent me to a university in Australia but I had to pay for all my living expenses. They paid for my education but I paid for my rent and food and all of my problems."

Aside from university, she has been financially independent since the age of eighteen.

Family is a huge part of Mexican culture and it's not uncommon for the kids to work when they are young just to help with the family income, especially in big families. But in Mexico, Lucia Gutierrez's mom made her get a job at a young age, not for the salary, but because she wanted Lucia to feel what it was like to earn money for herself.

"My first job, I put a little shop in my mother's office and I would sell candy and chips and sandwiches. But my first real job, I was a waitress at a taco stand; that was brutal. I was around sixteen. And it would be from around 8 in the afternoon until around 3 in the morning and it was tough, I must admit. But, it was fun. Because at first I just wanted to quit, it was a lot of work, and the pay wasn't really good. But after a while, when I got my first paycheck and got a chance to take my mother to dinner and actually  'I'll pay it', not my mom, it was one of the greatest experiences."

Currently, her mom supports her as an exchange student in Beijing.

Eddy Lewis grew up in New York City to a successful family who sent him to private school. So, for his parents, it was important not that he learnt to make money, but that he learnt the responsibilities and skills that go along with having a job. Many potential employers in America value those who have worked in the service industry because it teaches employees how to deal with people, how to work under pressure and multitask accordingly.

"My first summer job I worked in a hospital doing data entry and that was between middle school and high school, but my first real job, where I can say I actually had to 'punch in' and it wasn't like a summer camp experience I worked in a bakery. My parents liked it not so much about me making money like I needed it. But I guess they thought it would be a good experience to have to work hard and earn money for myself so I would appreciate it more. And it adds something, I learned stuff there. I learned to see a different side of things. Yeah, I thought it was valuable."

Lewis has been financially independent since university but his parents would help him now if he needed it.

In India, learning about the value of money from parents is automatic, says Samba Patnaik Siva. It comes as a result of example and hearing stories of money scarcity and humble beginnings. During school, his parents wanted him to concentrate on his studies, so he didn't have to work until he graduated at twenty-one years old.

"I was financially independent at the age of twenty-one because I passed my engineering and I was making money at that time. I left a job, but I got a loan from the bank to pursue my MBA. But if I need some money, I could ask my parents. In India, family is very important. If they need support, I'll support them, if I need support, they will support me."

So, it seems no matter how wealthy the family, parents must choose their lessons wisely. Perhaps it does just boil down to parents hoping to be comfortable in their elderly age and rightly be so. At that time, most likely, the parents will be hoping they set a really good example.

For CRI, I'm Andrea Hunt.