文化差异 老外不受MM撒娇

Women have wooed, awed and even irritated men since the dawn of time with their ways to convince men to do what they want. In China, "sajiao" roughly defines a behavior that is meant to be coquettish and feminine, pouty, and yes, cute.
For twenty-five-year-old Sara Li from Guangdong Province, it's a softer way to communicate with her boyfriend of four years.

"I sajiao him when I want him to do something for me or go to somewhere with me. I talk to him in a more gentle way than usual, to sound a bit like I'm begging him, to act like a typical tender girl so I can get his compassion."

Women may coo in a baby voice, bat their eyelashes, or pout using big puppy eyes. Twenty-four-year old Li Nian from Hubei Province has been with his girlfriend for about three years and says most men in China respond positively when asked for things in this way.

"For example, when she asks me to do something for her but I don't really want to, so she sajiao's me. Like when she desperately wants to eat some dessert and I'm in the middle of something so I don't feel like satisfying her, things like that."

But sajiao doesn't always appear tender and cute. That playful childish behavior can sour into a full fledged, childlike tantrum. This is where Western guys tend to get turned off.

Twenty-six-year-old Daniel Galvan from Mexico has been in China almost a year but only recently got a feel for sajiao while in Beijing's famous bar area.

"We went to Sanlitun and that's when things started getting pretty weird. And you can tell that the girl that my friend's girlfriend was bringing had some sort of crush on my friend and my friend couldn't wait to leave with his girlfriend. And they were dancing together and this girl kept pushing my friend away from his girlfriend which was very weird and awkward. A couple of drinks later, these guys leave, I said OK let's go now, and she started doing this tantrum, 'Where are they, why did they leave me?' She tried to call her but her friend didn't pick up. And she starts throwing this tantrum, the whole shebang. Kicking, screaming, and doing this baby voice."

Twenty-two- year-old Abdel Ali from Denmark has been studying in China the last nine months. He's found that he can't date a woman with this kind of behavior and adds that sajiao can really complicate a cross cultural relationship.

"If you talk about concerning all the childish things, I think there will be a lot of difficulties, I don't think a Western man is used his girl acting childish all the time, to having a girl saying, you have to do this, and constantly trying to get his attention, and she doesn't want you to talk to other people and stuff like that. So yeah, they will face a lot of problems. But again I know foreign people who enjoy this stuff. So some people might enjoy it or have difficulties with it."

However, Li Nian says it actually adds to the roles that men and women have in a relationship. He points out that in China, men have a sense of achievement in being able to take a dominant role and take care of the woman in their lives.

But it really depends on what kind of sajiao it is. I do truly like the kind of sajiao that goes in an instinctive manner, one that's more natural and simple-hearted. But if the sajiao is intentionally for some certain purposes, then I guess I would feel uncomfortable.

But Daniel Galvan points out that this kind of behavior is not only a Chinese phenomenon.

A girl always tries to be as girly as she can on some occasions to just draw some attention to her. For example, a girl in the West, giving directions or just taking the tube. And you say, we'll meet next to the tube station, we'll meet at exit A. And you know you are going to get about 200 calls in the course of 10 minutes when she already arrived to the station. She doesn't know if she took the right tube or what. And that comes after the 10 calls explaining where to go, where to get off where to buy the ticket."

Galvan notes, however, that as women become more financially independent in China, the severity of the sajiao may decrease. He says it's hard to imagine a rich, powerful female CEO of a company pouting in a childish manner.

But Sarah Li disagrees.

"I think the advancement of women in finance cannot not change their psychological behavior. Girls are born to like sajiao. It doesn't matter if a girl is a CEO or a housewife. It is not true that the housewife knows how to sajiao but the CEO doesn't. Their occupation or career can not change their female genetics and character."

Perhaps it really depends not on the future roles of women in society, but of her role in the relationship. After all, women anywhere can usually only get away with what a man expects and also what he will put up with. Western or Chinese, loving cuteness, or bratty stubbornness, is only in the eyes of the beholder.

For CRI, I'm Andrea Hunt.