春节神问题:你结婚了吗?

Recent surveys by a youth group show that more than 80 percent of single youths in China are constantly under pressure from their parents to get married.
As familial pressures are at an all-time high during big holiday gatherings such as the Spring Festival, many young people in China have developed a "fear of going home."

"The most dreaded Spring Festival question to me is 'When will you get married?' I've been asked like a thousand times and it's really … awkward. But the question is I don't even have a boyfriend now. How can they push me to get married soon while I don't have a boyfriend? I even fear of going home recent years. "

Once home, these young people are inundated with questions like "do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" and "when would you like to get married?"

According to the youth group's research, people aged between 25 and 35 are the group that suffers most of the pressure with 86 percent being pushed with such questions. Even 3 percent of youth who have not reached marriageable age are not immune from such pressure.

It seems like parents all over the country have the habit of asking such nagging questions but they just do it in different ways. Parents from Shanghai, for example, seem to be the most insistent, as they persistently harp at their children.

Parents in southwest China's Sichuan province like to take advantage of relatives who are usually called "annoying aunties" to persuade their children. They tend to always complain the kids are not doing as brilliant as their peers of other families. Such annoyance has accompanied the kids even from their school days. Years ago, the statements would be like "other people's kids have higher grades, the neighbor's kids had a higher Gaokao score" etc. As the kids grow older, questions became "other people's kids got married a long time ago, what about you?" "Other women of my age already have grandchildren, why not me?" "The kid who grew up together with you is a parent already, look at you?"

Still, parents in some other area choose to take action instead of relying on nagging alone. Parents from Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region do it in a simple and direct way. They are "excellent" in arranging blind dates for their children.

And parents from Jiangsu are "outstanding representatives" of pushy parents. Nearly 20 percent of them push their children more than ten times a year, the highest frequency across the nation. As a result, the number of blind dates that young Jiangsu people participate in also ranks high in the nation. 19 percent of respondents participate more than ten times in a year.

There are reasons behind these efforts. According to data from Jiangsu civil affairs department, the average age of first marriage for locals is 32.4. In contrast, for the elder generation, their children were already in primary school when they reached 30.

But young people feel wronged, as they believe a narrow life circle and tight work routine are the biggest hurdle for them to find a partner. More than three quarters argue that they travel between home and work every day and barely have a chance to meet members of the opposite sex.

Even if they have a girlfriend or boyfriend, it is not easy to get married. 68 percent of people think their "partner or partner's family is overly demanding", which leads to breakups.

Most respondents say they understand their parents but only a few choose to talk over the issue. More than 70 percent keep silent or escape the topic.

"Actually I understand my parents. I'm the only child in my family and all their attentions are focused on me. As I am growing up, they are getting older. They just worry about me like they always do. I will keep as patient as I can when they talk about the marriage issue since it is almost like the once-a-year grill."

Response strategies for the most dreaded "Spring Festival questions" have been a hit on China's social media platforms such as Sina Weibo and Wechat a few days before the holiday. Some even re-wrote a song to tease about the phenomenon.

But all joking aside, given the dramatic change of life style and living environment that most of the parents are unfamiliar with, there needs to be effective communication and real understanding of each other before the "fear of going home" can be overcome.