英语发音不准的悲剧下场

一个意大利人去英语国家旅行，因为带有浓厚的意大利口音，而使得在交流中出现了问题。下面注意看他口语中说出的piece（一块......）和piss（小便） 的区别。还有fork（叉子）和fuck 的区别。

他说的原文是：

One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast.

I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast... she brings me only one piece.
I tell her "I wanna two pieces"
She say "Go to the toilet". I say "you don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate".
She say to me: "you better not piss on the plate, you son of a bitch".
I do not even know this lady and she call me a son of a bitch!!

此处：pieces音类似piss

Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant.
The waiter brings me a Spoon and a knife but no fork.
I tell her "I wanna a fork" and she tell me: "everyone wanna fuck".
I tell her "you don't understand me...I wannafork on the table".
She say: "you better not fuck on the table You son of a bitch.",

So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed.
I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet".
He tell me: "Go to the toilet."
I say "you don't understand, wanna a sheet on my bed".
He say: "you better not shit on the bed, you son of a bitch".

此处：sheet音似shit

I go to the Check out and the man at the desk said "peace on you".
And I say: "Piss on you too, you son of a bitch". I gonna back to Italy!