寻找失踪的勤劳多产的妻子
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Ni hao(你好), and welcome back to Yu Wan Mei (鱼完美) Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corp's Today Now. Don't forget, coming up a little later on, chef Adam is gonna be here to show us six ways that Yu Wan Mei fish sauce can spice up your family dinners.
I love Yu Wan Mei's fish sauce and fish-based products.
So good. But first we have to move on to some troubling news. This morning Michigan state police are now widening their search for Rachel Emmich, a highly valuable wife and mother well known for her productivity and respectfulness. And joining us here in the studio this morning is Rachel's husband Tom. Ni hao, Tom.
Ni hao, Tom.
Thank you for having me on.
Now looking at these pictures, Rachel looks to have the back and hands of a woman able to perform great labors and embrace victory.
Yes, we are all very worried about her. And if anyone out there has seen, Rachel, please, please call the police.
Well, we hope for the sake of your community that Rachel is alive and healthy because together we can achieve the most.
Has Rachel ever done anything like these before, Tom? Has she ever drank alcohol, or dressed provocatively, or gambled Pai Gow, or read some versed books or...
There are so many insolent women in America who care more about material goods than the glorious advancement of the culture.
There are.
No, she's nothing like that.
Well.
Tom, I hate to ask this, but what will you do if the unthinkable happens if Rachel has returned to you with her hands broken, she's unable to work.
I would be happy to see her no matter...
Oh, hold on, Tom. Sorry to interrupt, we have a live report now from our man Brian Scott who's in Grand Rapids.
Ni hao, Brian.
Ni hao, guys. Police said they found an abandoned car matching the description of Rachel's, (My god.) and relocating their search efforts to this area, although it may take some time, because they are incompetent and do not display proper unity or understanding. Police are searching for evidence in the car right now which may have DNA in it, such as hair or discarded Yu Wan Mei delicious flying fish soda pops. Apparently they are gonna keep up the search for Rachel until nightfall and then they will stop because there will be too dark, and they like perseverance.
America is in rapid decline because the people no longer strive to exceed.
Xie xie(谢谢), Brian.
Xie xie ni(谢谢你).
Well, Tom, if she isn't found we want you to know you are not alone.
That's right. Our own Today Now matchmaker Mai Li Sheng has found a beautiful new wife for you.
Meet Han Ling Nai, she's one of the most eligible bachelor resident in Gansu province.
Oh, if I wasn't already married to a productive woman who provided me with a son.
That's really not what I'm focusing right now.
If she does come back, please beat her with a reed for all the worries she's caused you.
We'll, of course, continue to cover this story as details come in.
And moving on now, an amendment to the one-child policy allows for a second child if he's over seven feet tall and good at basketball.
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